THE MOM SPIRAL
PARENT THE HUMAN WAY
FUNDAMENTAL
It's your power and it positions your child exactly where they need to be, to be parented and develop fully in the healthiest way.
They tell us parenting should be natural and instinctive.
Not today, not when we’re so disconnected from our own bodies and intuition.
We were conditioned away from that a long time ago and we’ve lived our lives and now see the world through the wrong lens.
We live in our heads and we look outside ourselves for the answers.
So it's within you. It’s how you’re literally designed. You have all the power to parent, you just have to know how it works.
You need this fundamental information to access your power.
When this relationship is established they’ll be receptive to your parenting and you’ll be in position to do the job.
Your life will reflect this natural perfectly laid out plan for you. You just have to work with it, not against it.
Everything we’re told to do is in total opposition.
This is the safety you’re missing. This is what your body needs to actually show up and parent.
Right now you’re doing your best, but it’s based off NOTHING!
When you know there is an actual way this is supposed to happen.
That it's supposed to work, if you just take your place. You’d happily do that right?!
It’s all you have to do. Know your role and step into it.
This is the fundamental information that never changes.
You’ll have the awareness to know what’s going on, to know when things are off and to know what to do anytime.
This is empowerment. You won’t need anyone or anything else, truly.
You’ll know how to keep and strengthen attachment.
You’ll know what needs support or attention so that you’re not wasting your life on band-aids.
When you know you’re supported. You're safe to parent. You can rest in that and shine from there.
Everything you need to focus on comes from the basic concept that you are human
and you are nature and if you want to reach your fullest potential the only way is to honor and follow its plan.
This is basically the foundation of being human. Safety, survival, relationship and connection.
Learn this and you'll essentially learn how to be human and along with that have your power to parent another human!
WHAT YOU WILL RECEIVE FROM THIS SPIRAL
The Fundamental Spiral is different from anything in the parenting space.
Attachment and the Nervous System is the root cause to everything and that’s where your focus needs to be.
I break down Attachment and the Nervous System. The root of it all!
I will make it all make sense ☺
Here is all you can expect inside:
Fundamental information and deep understanding of the core concepts.
The true, real, biology, human nature explanation with attachment and the nervous system as the root cause.
Teach your child these foundational concepts. Empower them.
Find and know the places you’re lacking and strengthen them.
Nature has a plan, how you’re supported, how you benefit and how to take advantage of it.
What you always need to be doing to keep your child developing and reaching their fullest potential to maturity.
Signs and ways you can mess with the natural process. Stop fighting and resisting nature.
Where to let go so nature can do the teaching you think or feel you need to.
All the misunderstandings, misinterpretations, misconceptions and myths.
All the problems with and alternatives to.
The differences and importance of.
Hidden, secret and tricky places you have no idea you’re messing with or hurting your child
or where you’re unconsciously or unintentionally doing it wrong.
What it looks and feels like or could, in you and your child.
What to do and what not to do. What to try. What to avoid.
What not to do to teach them coping or adaptation.
Lots of examples of what’s probably happening in your life right now and a different option.
What you’re doing or saying and what to do and say instead.
What you feel like it is and what it really is.
Common thoughts and approaches and what to do instead.
Places to look and consider that you might not be aware or think of.
Lots of real life examples.
Scripts and ideas as inspiration.
Get creative, personalize, customize.
Mantras. Rituals. Routines. Rhythms.
Plan, prepare, role play.
Set everyone up for success.
All the ways you can prepare, give, and provide SAFETY!
Questions and prompts for reflection.
What I do with my girls and why. I’ll give you lots of detailed examples.
Daily things you can do to keep attachment strong.
Things to do in the moment, after and outside the moments.
Normalize everything.
Stop ignoring, dismissing, distracting all the important pieces to life.
Allow. Not block or delay or interrupt or prevent.
Respond instead of react from the stress response. Respond to create change.
Recognize, detect, find.
Replace stories with truth.
Reduce alarm and frustration, not add to it or the load or the buildup.
All the labels we put on everything. Stop looking at symptoms or using band-aids.
All the underlying reasons so you know what to solve in the first place.
Intentionally create more balance. Protect them. Create the space for them to thrive.
Increase connection. Strengthen attachment. Preserve the relationship. Protect development.
Long term goals not short term superficial, surface level results.
The emotional and relationship tools for a lifetime.
Core knowing, understanding and experience of relationships.
What you’re really teaching them or how you’re wiring their bodies.
Your role. Their role. How to keep them.
Where your focus, attention, direction and action needs to be.
What is your responsibility and what’s not.
The simplicity of it all.
All the opportunities for healing.
Take advantage of all the good, powerful, impactful, positive ways and places.
THE PROCESS
I think there's a point in your healing journey where you stop trying to convince other people to do the right thing, you just observe their choices, understand their character, and decide what you're going to allow in your life.
I didn't want to be a "fool." I didn't want to be a trailblazer, a creative stray, someone who marched to her own bongos. But I was born to stay true to myself. And all of us who stay true to ourselves are too alive for conformity.
We are not radical. We are just honest and uncompromising. And our love may impact the trajectory of the status quo or those who are not "foolish."
Today, I will honor my need to stay true to myself, even if I veer away from conformity.
SUPPORT
Community to share and explore together. Support and be supported. Connect with like-hearted women.
One month free access to the INTENTIONAL membership which opens April 2024.
This will give you the space to ask all your questions whenever you're ready.
INVESTMENT $ 1 4 7
You are worth all that it takes to embody who you truly are and mother from that place
You are worth it
Your child is worth it
THE OUTLINE
ATTACHMENT
The beginnings of secure attachment. Our babies and where it all starts.
The foundational information and explanation of attachment and how it works.
Your role and your child's role. All the things a secure child learns. Attachment hunger.
6 year timeline. What this looks like in real life and how to strengthen each part.
DEVELOPMENT
How development and maturity connect.
What you need to be aware of so you’re not hindering the process.
How your nervous system states, lifestyle and society affects their development.
How they need to be truly dependent on you to ever be independent.
How development relates to behavior.
Explanation and examples of places that are typical, but not natural or supportive of development or attachment.
What’s really going on when you have to leave and how to handle transitions.
How to reorient when attachments change.
How to handle developmental delays in a healthy way.
How to protect development and set boundaries.
SHYNESS
True explanation of what shyness is and isn’t.
How to safely approach shyness and not hinder their instincts or add labels or shame.
ALPHA ROLE
What it is and how you assume your role.
How it all goes back to safety and what that means to strengthen your position.
What this looks like and doesn’t look like.
ALPHA CHILD
The explanation of why this happens and the things that put this role reversal in place.
Signs and what it looks like when your child has stepped into the alpha role.
What it feels like for you and how you might feel about your child.
How this affects the nervous system and how it’s wired.
Ways this shows up in life and in other relationships.
A look at your stuff and how it affects them.
YOUR ROLE
All the things you need to BE.
All the ways you assume your role and keep it strong.
How to keep your focus on you, not them.
How to be the parent. How to be responsible and accountable and influence outcomes.
The truth around boundaries and how to set them.
How to get to the place of balance between kind and firm, not too tough or nice.
COMPETING ATTACHMENTS
Discuss all the places, teachers, caregivers, family, friends.
How we lose our kids and how to hold onto them.
How to set up strong attachments with other adults.
What’s really happening when you’re not their attachment.
The actual relationship model and timeline so they establish themselves first.
How wounding happens and how to prevent it.
What happens when your child attaches to a peer.
Divorce situations.
SAFETY
How to provide unconditional safety.
Looking at how you provide safety and if they are truly experiencing it.
How to create a solid, secure, safe foundation as your child’s core truth.
Safety setpoints and how to change them. How this affects all their future relationships.
How everything happens in our bodies and it only matters how safe it feels.
ALARM
Understand its true purpose. Honor and respect its immense function in our lives.
How to know how to approach and work with it, not against it.
How to normalize alarm.
How to use this energy correctly and in the healthiest way for your body.
How our brain turns alarm into a story and this is what we think is the “problem.”
What alarm becomes for our kids when they don’t stay in their body with the sensation.
How to approach and handle fears.
Steps to bring down alarm in the moment. Prepare and empower outside the moment.
How to use your alpha role to reduce alarm.
Replace their idea with more truth.
How to use play to naturally conquer fears and alarm.
SEPARATION
Full explanation of how this has the greatest impact on attachment and the nervous system.
How to handle anticipated separation.
How to handle, prepare separation, before, during and after.
What to do so attachment is strong and you don’t have separation issues.
What it takes to be truly attached to another adult and how to intentionally create this.
What to do when separation is an issue every time.
What to do to strengthen attachment for being separated.
Steps to do before school starts.
What to do before and after separation.
Matchmaking, greeting, collecting, orienting.
Difference between alarm and exhaustion.
Defensive detachment, this is a commonly misunderstood experience, you think they’re having fun, but it’s an attachment red flag.
RAINBOW
What and how to create this channel of energy between you.
What to focus on and make sure they know.
COLLECT
Collecting and connecting and building attachment. Greeting ritual. Gazing. Mirroring.